Fear is such a bitch, no cap as the kids say nowadays. You’re hindering yourself from living your best life because of made up scenarios in your head. Both allowing yourself and deciding that you’ve already failed when you haven’t even started yet. Make it make sense. I used to do this to myself and no. Just no. Tell your mind and brain to shut the fuck up and to stop trying to sabotage you in whatever you’re trying to pursue. It’s straight up bullshit. I’ve noticed that it gets worse because we keep entertaining these thoughts since we’re in a way ”ashamed” of them and at times even ignore the true reason behind these fears even though we know what these fears are and why they’re there. I hope this make sense to you. Personally, I feel that you have nothing to be ashamed of. Is your desire to create videos on Youtube but you’re scared of being judged because you dealt with bullies when you were younger and that traumatized the hell out of you? That’s okay and totally valid but please acknowledge it and work through it as much and as best as you can. It will be worth it! Are you afraid of failure? So are the rest of us. Well, at least most of us and that’s also okay and valid. Whatever you’re scared of, push yourself through it.
2. Get into action and stay focused with a to-do list
Okay, so you’ve decided to do what you want to do, do you boo-boo and just say fuck it to other peoples dumbass opinions. It’s time to take action and I’m so proud of you! Easiest way to do so is to make a plan and start create a to-do list. Daily, weekly and/or monthly. Doesn’t matter, just do it.
3. Identify your triggers
We meet people everyday and some of them will, unfortunately, just piss you off. Whether it be intentonally or unintentionally, people you know or don’t know, strangers, friends or families or even your partner. Some might not outright piss you off but they might annoy you or make you frustrated. Truth is that you can’t control peoples behaviour and what comes out of their mouths but you can control how you react to them. We all have triggers that make us want to join the dark side and hang out with The Fallen Angel but what good would it make? Absolutely nothing but soothe your ego for a quick moment and then what? Your life, goals, hopes and dreams depend on it and it’s not worth it. I’ve been there many times before and.. uhm.. no. Identify your triggers and try to figure out why they’re triggering you in the first place.
4. Get out of your comfort zone
Being comfortable DOES NOT help us grow. If you really want to grow, then you’ll have to put in some hard ass work in to it. Being comfortable also means settling and no thank you. It will be uncomfortable as hell and there will be days where it will suck but take the necessary small steps everyday. Want to be a public speaker but hate speaking in front of people and a crowd? Maybe try to film yourself while speaking. You obviously don’t have to show it to someone if you don’t want to but it’s a start which is better than nothing.
5. Have a weekly exercise routine
Physical activity? Hell yeah. 15, 30, 45 or 60 minutes? Daily or weekly exercise? Weighted or cardio? Sex!? Hell fucking yeah. Move you damn body and get your heart rate up. You’ll look better and feel better, physically AND mentally. We love it for ourselves.
6. Wake up early
A few extra hours for yourself in the morning (if you for example have a family of your own) will do amazing things for your mental health and productivity. I recently started doing it and I can’t believe and understand why I didn’t do this sooner. But honestly I don’t do this everyday but atleast 3-4 times a week. You’ll have more time fo self-improvement and to plan out your day. Meditate, take a longer shower, journal, go for a walk, have your morning coffee or tea in silence or even just take a seat somewhere in your home and just be quiet. Silence. Tranquility. Amazing!
7. Show your gratitude and be grateful
Be grateful for where you are in life. Be grateful that you got to wake up this morning. January 1st 2020, how many people didn’t wake up that day and had plans for the new year? Vacations, birthday celebrations, weddings, summer plans etc? But they didn’t make it because of the pandemic. I got sick with COVID-19 two days before Christmas and in January of 2020 I decided to celebrate Christmas like never before but instead I got sick and I was so mad that it wasn’t going to happen. But then I thought to myself, how many families, parents and grandparents had the exact same plans that I had but instead someone in their family (or even themselves) got sick and sadly passed away instead? Don’t you think George Floyd had plans for the year with his family? I was sincerely pissed that I managed to stay safe throughout 98% of 2020 and got sick during the last 9-10 days but atleast I got to celebrate Christmas somewhat with cheese sandwiches, takeaway food and cheesy classical Christmas and Disney movies. And I actually made it through and was able to celebrate the new year with even more takeaway food and felt like 100% myself as soon as I woke up on January 1st 2021. I was actully able to watch the fireworks even though I had to watch them through my window. Millions of people around the world didn’t get this chance and that made me so grateful and thankful beyond words. I am aware that everybodys day to day life is and looks different but whatever it may be, be grateful. You’re here. You made it. Be grateful for the people you’ve met, the people who stayed and the people who left. Good or bad. Acknowledge the fact that whatever could have broken you down completely, didn’t. You are here today, living and breathing and being awesome. Everyday is another chance to create the life you’ve dreamt of and fully deserve. That’s something worth celebrating!
8. Positive self-talk
Please stop being hard on yourself. Whatever happened in the past, there’s absolutely nothing you can do today to change it. It is what it is and you did whatever you had to do with the knowledge and experience you had at the time. Be kind to yourself, you’re doing the best you can and that is awesome in itself. Be your own cheerleader!
9. Forgive yourself and others
This is something that helped me tremendously! I never understood what the hell people were talking about. Forgive them? My thought process used to be that THEY owe ME an apology for hurting me and for putting me through hell. And I held on to that way of thinking for the longest up until a little more than a year ago. And surprise, surprise it did absofuckinglutely nothing for me except for me being angry every single day. Not all day everyday but definetly everyday. There’s no point in holding on to grudges and anger towards other people. Yes someone did you wrong and you hate it and you’re hurt. Sometimes we hold on to these feelings towards people who wronged us because we’re waiting for an apology from them. Chances are that they’re not going to give it to you since maybe they don’t even think that they did anything wrong. I’ve had someone close to me who had someone close to them that hurt them alot in their life and for a long time. I could see that all this person wanted was an apology and refused to speak to said person unless they got it from them and at the same time didn’t want to let go of the hurt and grudge. The other person passed away and they never got the apology that they wanted. All this time and all these years gone by and for what? It’s not worth it. Listen, like I said before, there’s no point in holding on to grudges and hate. It is what it is and there’s nothing we can do to change the past. You truly have to forgive yourself for doing what you did at a certain time with the knowledge you had back then. It’s okay and you did the best you could. Don’t hold on to anything or any emotion that keeps hurting you and not aiding you in moving forward in life, bringing you down and bringing nothing but negativity. Forgive yourself and others and move on.
10. Engage in self-care and be kind to yourself
When we think of self-care we often think of getting manicures and our hair done, taking a long bath with lots of bubbles because why not while having a glass of wine or five. Although I’m not hating on any of these but self-care also means moving your body, connecting with people that puts a genuine smile on your face or doing a fun activity. Do you love to read? Then read until your heart is content. Do you love to dance even though you know damn well that you have no rhytm? Man, if you don’t start dancing like that damn balloon outside of car dealerships. Have fun with it and do what makes you happy!
11. Create a consistent morning and night routine
Do whatever you need/want to do in the morning that will keep you productive, happy and active throughout the day and do whatever you need/want to do in the evening that will help you wind down and calm your mind before you go to bed. Whatever works for you.
12. Get to know yourself
In order to improve yourself and your life you have to know who you are. You have to be self-aware and really honest with and about yourself. What are your strengths/positive traits and weaknesses/flaws? This can apply to your love/romantic life, career, relationships with your friends and family and towards your self. Your ego might get hurt but this step is truly crucial for your personal success.
13. Treat yourself
You’ve worked so hard to fulfill your dreams and should be so proud over yourself! How about a little celebration? What will make you joyful and happy? Is it dinner? A movie? Dance to 80’s hits and music like a fucking animal? Create art? Masturbate? Do you boo!